Revealing my Personality

Being one of those Tongue-tied Teens

2012-02-23T01:15:00.002-08:00

‘You live a new life for every new language you speak’.

A very intellectual and true statement but a little fancy, if you ask me. Just think about it though. What do you get out of it? A friend of mine, Leanne is about 16 now and she came to the UK only 2 years ago. Every day she keeps saying her English is getting worse, it’s very slow and she doesn’t know how to speed up the process to getting to a comfortable high level linguistically. Are you in the same position? I know I definitely was. I guess learning a language is not like having an exam, you cram the night before, and that’s it, you’re safe.

It takes time. Okay, be honest, how many times have you heard this one before? ‘It takes time, be patient. Everything will be fine, just wait and see’, it sounds like my mum when I tell her I can’t get something I want. There is a reason behind this answer, you know. It’s actually a secret, but I believe I might be able to let you in on it. Just promise you won’t tell anyone.

The secret to that phrase is actually not waiting, but doing.

Let’s say you want to bake a cake, and you’ve tried so many times, but it never turns out like you want it to. Well, what’s the key word there? That’s right, T-R-Y. Every time you try, you get closer to your goal.

I’m guessing so far, the longest conversation you have had with someone included a lot of smiling and nodding politely. It’s okay, we all do it. But what I noticed is the way we try our hardest to avoid shame and humiliation by avoiding conversations. I know you do the same, come on, admit it. I’m not surprised though, we just don’t want to stand there and have everyone wait on us as someone explains what, ‘pillow’ means. It is ridiculous sometimes. And yeah people say they don’t mind waiting or explaining it to you, but be serious, do they really?

To be honest with you, it’s actually all those humiliations and embarrassing experiences that build you up linguistically and as a person. Basically, it’s all about standing up, showing you are a person as well and getting past the first stage of feeling like an outsider.

You also end up feeling like the odd piece of the puzzle. Everyone fits in so well, making this beautiful English illustration, and there you are, on your own, poles apart to everyone else. It ruins the whole picture, I know. I used to feel like that too. Sometimes I still do, but that’s not really the point.

The point is that feeling like an outsider is normal. You should literally drill that into your brains. It’s normal, and it comes with the package of being bilingual. You know what I realised though, no matter how much time passes, or how well you know your second language, there will always be slight moments where you’ll still feel out of place. You find yourself just coughing and stroking the back of your neck trying to look comfortable whilst everyone talks about something that has nothing to do with you. I don’t mean to depress you though. So, don’t get miserable, okay? Let’s look at the good side of being bilingual. Ha! You didn’t think there was such a side did you? We’ll see…

The good side

I have noticed that many of us forget the privilege of knowing a second language. It’s not all bumps and bruises, you know. Once in a while you need someone to just come up to you and tell you the truth: you are amazing. Not many people do but that’s only because of their lack of courage, not because it’s not true.

Think about it carefully. You are able to come to school and communicate with everyone is a language. Then, you go home and you switch to another. How amazing is that? You just need to see bilingualism as something positive.

Imagine you’re right in the middle of a busy main road, and cars have stopped all around you. All you see and hear is angry people shouting at you to move out of the way, busy buildings and roads, swearing, shouting and so many other negative things. Ok, not the most pleasant image, but, let’s try something else. You then go from that horrendous and uncomfortable place up to the roof of a tall building next to that road. Look down. What do you see? A beautiful sky, tiny figures getting on with their lives, peace and quiet, nothing but tranquillity. Do you see my point? You haven’t gone anywhere; all you have done is look at something from a completely different point of view.

It’s the same with your language. Stop looking around you and listening to everything those around you say; they only create a negative image of yourself which prohibits you from moving forward. I actually heard from a professional doctor that bilingualism boosts your brain power. So, scientifically, there is a chance you’re actually cleverer than those kids in your class. You’re the one that knows their language the least and yet you know the most. Ironic isn’t it?

I also heard bilingual teens have good listening skills and are good at connecting with others. You probably thought, ‘What? That is such a lie!’ But no, it’s true, you know why? Because those that aren’t bilingual don’t pay as much attention to details but you do because you need to make sure your brain acknowledges and doesn’t miss out on anything. It tends to play games on us sometimes, what can you do?

The bad side…

Just kidding! Being bilingual is a privilege and you should be grateful for that. I’m not trying to sound like my grandma when I tell her we don’t have any chocolate left, ‘Be grateful you have something to eat’ she constantly says. So, you should ‘be grateful’ as well, at least you can talk right?

I wouldn’t say there’s a ‘bad’ side to bilingualism. There’s definitely a hard and difficult side—yup, the progressing side. We always find ourselves moving so slowly up the scale, but as I said before, it’s normal and it’s okay to go slow. Sometimes going slower gives you things you never expected of having.

It may be hard fitting in, but so what? At least you’ll have a fun story to tell your grandkids someday. It’s better to have a more difficult life where you learn many things than one where you have everything and are bored to death everyday! Be a little adventurous. Accept life the way it is. That’s right, I’m going to shove another inspirational quote your way, I’m sure you’ve heard this one before…

‘When life hands you lemons, you make… lemonade!’

So stop eating them raw, they’re too sour, just squeeze them, add some sugar and drink it up. Wow, I even gave you a short recipe.

Well, do me this favour, then. Stop whining about how hard it is, face everyday with a smile, never give up, remember there are many others out there, just like you and just show the world who you really are!

Happy new Year!

2011-12-31T12:39:00.000-08:00

Yup, here we are agian, at the end of another year, another time of our lives we'll never get back.

But I want to wish all of you a happy new year! God bless !
I hope the new year will bring happiness and joy and many other things you desire! I also hope I will post more often and better stuff, to get mre readers.

It just feels like I'm talking to myself most of the time XD
like right now. lol

Happy New Year!

An Indelible Past... continued..

2011-12-05T15:30:00.001-08:00

“Oh my gosh!”

A deafening, thunderous scream rushed from behind me. Breathing heavily, I swiftly turned my head, preparing myself. I knew that voice. It was like when a baby hears the mother’s voice, and knows it is her. He can stop crying, for she has come to his rescue. Just as I laid eyes on her, all these emotions of regret, love, friendship, longing, gushed out and knocked me to the ground, along with her substantial body weight.

“I can’t believe you came back!”

“Well, half my life is here, you know.”

“I’ve missed you so much!” she whispered as she hugged me tightly hardly leaving any space for me to breathe.

I didn’t care, however. Just looking at her, I remembered all our little adventures together. Sitting in bed and talking for hours with her mother telling us to go to sleep. Stuffing ourselves with sweets as if we were the piñatas at a birthday party. This colossal flood of memories from the past started evoking some uncomfortable questions. Why did I leave? How could I have just gone without everyone? Slowly, I became ever more aware of a deep regret.

After spending the day together, I went to my childhood home. As I walked in, that creak of the front door welcomed me home. I was so overcome with emotions; one minute I was laughing, the next sobbing. Looking through the small library I had and reading through some of my primary school notebooks reminded me of my old self. I laughed. My bizarre messy handwriting was one thing, but my grammar was even worse. Putting it down, I moved the curtain out of the way. Whilst feeling the smoothness of that window pane next to my bed, I remembered all the times I used to sit there reading, staring at the night sky. With my face stuck to the glass, leaving prints, etching personal visions into the condensation. I often found myself falling asleep against the glass.

Each room was a little rusty in places, considering the time they’ve been living alone. There was still that stain from when I tripped and spilt orange juice all over the carpet. I also noticed that heart-shaped cup I received for my 6th birthday from Dad was still in the cupboard window in the kitchen. Red with bright pink spots and a handle that could fit my whole hand at the time: ‘The greatest daughter in the world’. My face was so red when I received it that my cheeks glistened, but I was so proud of that cup. I always used it.

The writer- Christine de Pisan

2011-11-30T15:20:00.000-08:00

The sun’s rays cunningly creped in her bedroom and blinded her as she opened her eyes. Today was the day. She was finally allowed to spend it with her parents and their intellectual friends. The girl swiftly changed and rushed downstairs in a rushed but composed way.

‘I’m ready.’ She confirmed to her mother, who was waiting near the door.

Seeing the endless rows, the stunning architecture, and the abundance of books on every shelf told her she has arrived. It was the greatest athenaeum in the UK.

Everyone gathered around and sat down. She took a book out of the pile on the table. The cover had a mellow, ocean-like blue tone that attracted her attention. ‘Collected Works by Christine de Pisan’.

‘This is it.’ She thought as she hastily opened the cover. She was so fascinated with how this writer stayed so strong, independent and brave, even though men were against it at the time. This famous author wrote and spoke her mind, only influencing others like her, the helpless, the deprived, the voiceless. She was their voice. And a very powerful one too.

‘I hope to be like her someday’ the girl thought as she flicked through the treasured pages. It may have been a man’s world, but using her writing skills, she conveyed that a female can do everything just as well as any man. Just as she said herself, “If it were customary to send little girls to school and teach them the same subjects as are taught to boys, they would learn just as fully and would understand the subtleties of all arts and sciences.”

‘Thank you. A true inspiration.’ The girl muttered under her breath as she smiled defiantly.

‘Okay, everyone, start writing.’ The teacher behind her exclaimed contently.

An Indelible Past...

2011-11-30T09:02:00.000-08:00

The minute I walked out on to the doorstep, I took a deep, invigorating breath that stirred my courage slightly past the modicum needed to do this. My mind kept repeating, ‘I can do this’. My hands were unknowingly trembling, disconnected from my reluctant legs which were moving stiffly out on to the front porch. ‘I can do this’.

Forming a distinctive smile, my face lit up as soon as my eyes caught glimpse of that humble old road. The road of scattered harmonies. Little charming children running around laughing to their heart’s content, holding hands and hugging like there’s no tomorrow. There I was also, amongst all those children, bright blond curly hair, tall, plump figure and that pink frilly little dress that waved in the wind and made me feel like royalty. I was on the crest of jubilation. I opened my eyes and returned to reality. Seemingly, there was nothing else but a hushed, deserted trail of pavement. My sight got mistier because of my glossy yet glazed eyes. The exact, burnished reflection of that road made me stop. Every drop that slid on my lean, rosy cheeks were like memories—all passing so hastily, feeling so insignificant, and yet being so precious. I cried. Deciding to try again, I took another deep breath, and went on a stroll down that road of tender reminiscences.

---------------------------

Walking back outside, it was so dark and serene; you could see nothing but some dim streetlights along with a few swift headlights rushing past. The waxing crescent of the moon was so fine; it was almost knife-like. Absolutely stunning. A sudden shiver hit me. Not because of the frosty wind outside or the assumption most had that that was a cold night. It was more the sudden cyclone of gleaming stars. Each one was so delicately placed. Almost like a painting that had such a large deal of detail but formed such a simple shape overall: The Milky Way. The ascending, immense line that crossed the sky faded from a simple dotted painting to an explosion of beaming, radiant stars. Breathtaking. Astonishing. Hypnotising. Indelible.

The next morning I lay on that window pane just watching as the sun first broke above the horizon. So resplendent and mesmerizing. The golden, intense tones never look the same from anywhere else but that very place.

Talents

2011-11-10T14:04:00.000-08:00

A strange question just popped in my mind- Do we all have talents?

Yes, it's true, some people say EVERYone has a talent, no matter how deeply burried. Is it true though?

I'm sure we all want one.. I mean, common, who wouldn't like to sing like Celine Dion, play like Beethoven, write like Shakespeare or paint like Picasso, it would be an honour. It changes who you are, how you act, how people look at you.

But let's be honest, the only thing that actually changes those things, and changes how you look at yourself, is the assurence that talent is in you.

A few times I was thinking.. I'm so average... Nothing special, nothing unique or out of the ordinary. And maybe it's true. But I'm not the one to say.

Same for you. If you're inside a painting, super close to all those brushworks, messy colours, pencil lines and rigid corners, are you really suited to judge the painting overall? I didn't think so. Only by seeing a painting from a distance then close up, can we really judge it. So, let someone else decide for you.

Work hard to make sure that talent is there, and if it is, that it's developed, confident and ready to shine to the world.

For you never know.. someone might just say... you have talent! ;)

A Romantic Prespective

2011-09-26T15:33:00.000-07:00

He never noticed her before. Sitting there with her big blue eyes, flapping her eye lashes gracefully up and down whilst giving a slightly cheeky grin in his direction. He decided to take that as a sign, maybe from the gods, maybe from fate itself, or simply from the girl of his dreams, and go for it. However, he realized, a little too late, that everyone around him noticed his interest as they turned their heads curiously.

Yet he kept going and pacing towards what he believed could be a breakthrough for him. A breakthrough from all the heartaches, broken hearts, deciets and lies; a final breakthrough for him to find love once again, or simply a true friendship. Or maybe even a friendship on fire.

Respectfully lowering his head, he asked for the young lady's hand. 'Would you care to dance?' he asked valiently. Stunned at his reaction, she hesitated for a second but still slightly lowered her head also in approval.

With reddened yet smooth and glistening cheeks the girl apporached the dance floor with his burning hand leading the way.

The romantic atmosphere hung in the air, floating on the help of the music that shered in each ear and heart. Every time their hands touched even the slightest, both their hearts would pound and beat so hard and loud that they were concerned the other would hear it. A simple dance, a simple song, and yet such a complex result. It felt everlasting and constantly ongoing, but at the same time it felt as though it happened in a second. Even the thumping, growling, talking, and singing couldn't distract them from each other's eyes and nothing in the world seemed more important in that moment than the radiating glow, the obvious yet discreet burning desire to be with the other.

The moment was like a falling star in the dark, twinkling night sky-- so gentle as it falls yet encompasses such a beauty and exclusivity like nothing else in the whole world.

Music

2011-09-03T16:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, well today I wanted to take on a lighter subject and talk about that. I've been thinking of music and I don't mean Pop Rock, and all that new stuff everyone listens to nowadays but classical. I was listening to some pieces and trying to work out their original purpose.

I'm not trying to imply that classical music is something we all have to learn to love but something that becomes inevitable of coming across it. I believe it gives off a very peaceful and relaxing tone, and it reminds the listener that the composer had great talent to write something like that.

Of course nowadays that type of music only seems old-fashioned and boring, because there is so much better variety out there now, and in some respects I kinda agree, but we shouldn't let the roots fade away. Even for those of you playing an instrument, you have talent, maybe you're not Beethoven's level yet but that is insignificant. And even if you don't play an instrument, appreciating and enjoying it is a different matter.

I'm not completely sure what I'm trying to conclude here, I just listened to a great piano piece the other day and wanted to share my love for it. So I have.

Celebrity Truth

2011-08-30T06:01:00.000-07:00

Celebrities. It is almost crazy how much they influence us.
Maybe some of us don't realize or notice this, but it is definitely true. I have met people that are madly influenced and can do nothing about it.

You may be wondering, How? How would you be influenced? Well that's easy: In every way. I'm serious, their clothes, hair, language, weight, facial features, make up, life style, likes, dislikes and the list is endless!

In fact I once watched a video of a girl on youtube who admited to being influenced, considering her weight, and it shocked me how some people let themselves be influenced so easily by some people behind a screen. Yes, they may be fitter, prettier, richer than most of us, but so what? The thing about being yourself, is that you can be anybody, so why choose to copy someone that already exists when you can be your own unique person?

Sometimes I think I'm influenced a little also, even if I so badly don't want to be, but unintentionally I am. And what's worse is that it changes who I am and who I want to be into a version of their own. Some people are so crazy about celebs that they don't wear, say, eat or even drink anything else except what a celebrity has. I mean, how mad is that? Just because they're followed and constantly watched for everything they do, doesn't necessarily mean it's 'cool', as they say. Watch yourself for some time and see that you are just as cool, beautiful, fit and stylish as they are, maybe even more.

Take my word for it, and stop comparing yourself to them, they're just like you, ordinary human beings.

Journal of my trip- Final Day

2011-08-27T04:24:00.000-07:00

This is the third and final day of my trip. Of course, the actual holiday was longer but I couldn't constantly write a new piece at the end of each day. Too busy.

Wow. That is all I kept repeating to myself that morning.

At around lunch time, we went to our old home, the place where I lived throughout my childhood. Immediately, the road, neighbours and houses ringed a bell inside me that seemed to have been left alone for so long that it already had cobwebs, dust, spiders, and rust. It seemed that it didn’t quite work as well as it used to either.

As soon as I set eyes on our yellowish brown house, with its rusty red roof and misplaced bricks on the ground, my heart started pounding. The gate squeaked open and the dry green, long-time uncut grass grabbed our attention immediately.

I decided to take everything slowly as I realized how far back in time I was going by visiting this old place. It was so unbelievable that I almost hardly realized what was going on. The halls, the doors, the smell, the windows, the walls, the colours, everything hit me at once. Breath-taking, it was all staring at me as if it was wondering where I had been all this time and how I found the courage to actually come back.

Although it still looked its old, tarnished self, my room had changed a little somehow. It was smaller, stranger-looking. That was when I realized the images I had in my head were different, because the memories I had, started to slowly fade, so I was making up some parts of the house, to convince myself that I haven’t forgotten it. When in reality, I had.

I slowly calmed down. I sat on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes when my father handed me a box of old family photos. I excitedly started looking and flicking through all of them. Black and white, coloured, ripped, new, all different types of pictures that held their own short history. I found so many of my younger figure and my older friends and stared in awe for various seconds. My heart started pounding even faster and I started getting restless. At last, when I eventually finished looking through them, I threw them all back in the box and walked outside. I needed a breather. I was starting to realize more and more where I actually was.

Happy however, I was smiling anxiously, because the images in my head have been renewed and updated. I knew right then and there that those memories had to always be kept. Safe. No matter what I may go through, I should always have them with me, and never let them go. They are too precious. What also started to de-ice was that bell. It seemed that now it was ringing loudly and sharply bringing back all memories along with that noisy but pleasant sound.

I started taking a short walk, deciding to go a little further down, seeing if I could recognise anyone around the neighbourhood. My ears blocked themselves because my mind was thinking and reminding me of every short adventure that happened in every little inch of that village. As I turned around, after calming down a little, I saw someone familiar. She was running towards me with opened arms, smiling. After a second of realizing who she actually was, I also started running; we hugged and hugged so hard till we couldn’t breathe. She was one of my best friends. After that, I also met other friends and reunited with old acquaintances.

Unfortunately, every good thing will eventually come to an end in this world. And that time was when I was reunited with my best friend. I always kept her in my mind as an innocent, sweet little girl that cared so much and gave her all to make another feel good. Disappointed. That is what you end up being when you misjudge something. And I was. Extremely. Her hair, her makeup, her clothes, all so exaggerated and shady, as if she decided to walk on the darkest valley she found, and when she finally found the main road again, she forgot who she was. I started to forget her old and true self as well. Even her language and actions also differed. I was shocked at how much one person can change in such a short period of time. After finishing talking to her, I lowered my head slowly, walking home, and shed some pity tears. I also reminded myself of all the times together and decided to hold on to that, for I was certain she has already forgotten.

Now it is already the fourth day, and it seems this trip has changed me. At least a little.

Journal of my trip- Day Two

2011-08-25T15:38:00.000-07:00

Remember, I wrote this on my way, and by 'we' I mean me and my family.

Yesterday we arrived at my aunt’s house and spent the day there. Relaxed, rested and renewed ourselves by sleeping in real beds, and being able to actually stretch. The three adorable girls that live in Austria also spent the day with us and we were able to enjoy a little younger companionship.

Early in the morning, as we got ready to leave, two of the girls came up and made sure to say goodbye. Although they were half asleep, yawning and looking at us with half of their eyelids closed, it was still extremely sweet as they came up to hug and kiss us.

So we are on the road once again and enjoying the sun while doing it. As we entered Romania, the sun started shining like the moon on a dark cloudy night. It heats every corner, inch and every hidden place it can find. The clouds surrounding it don’t seem to be helping, as they are floating out of its way, allowing its rays of heat to hit the ground freely and quickly.

As soon as we crossed the border, I realized we were in my native country almost immediately, the rundown houses, the shady civilians, the bumpy roads, all working together creating a quite quaint place to live. The anxiety and excitement seems to keep playing games in my head making me even more anxious to get there by the minute.

Right now we are driving near some gorgeous mountains and green fields that take your breath as soon as you take a look. The sharp yet smooth trees covering every inch of these mountains work in harmony to create such a beautiful landscape that emphasise the clear blue sky. The tall distant mountains that blend quite well with the sky give off some confusion to which part represents the sky and which represents the mountains.

Just thinking of the minute we arrive gets me pumped up. Although it will be quite dark as we are still less than half way there, I will be happy to see everyone and get that feeling of being ‘home’ once again, even if it has been a very long time.

There's only one more journal entry, because once I got there, there seemed to be no time for writing.

A little experience- first day

2011-08-21T04:18:00.000-07:00

This is something short I wrote on my holiday, on the first day with my parents, when I re-visited the place i grew up in. We travelled by car, so it felt long and exhausting, but enjoyed it still.

It has officially been 15 hours since we left our house, sitting in a car seat and waiting. It has its ups and downs however. Although little stops do help for cramps and stitches, there are some times where you just feel like stopping and giving up.

But let’s be realistic, on a motorway... not so easy to simply give up. This made me realize what a good comparison it is to life. Right now, my head aches, my legs feel a little sore and so do my arms, I feel like I want to just stretch and let myself go.

I was listening to a very inspirational song earlier whilst simply watching the evening sky. After many hills, valleys and bumps on the road, the trees finally cleared as we kept going and the landscape was as visible as the night sky. I was astonished by the beautiful sun that was hiding beneath all that darkness and confusion of the trees and everything we tend to bump into down here, on our life-long journeys. At that point, the song also reached its bridge, meaning its resolution, saying that even if we are beat down and upset, we will eventually find that silver lining and view that crisp orange sky.

Another thing I noticed was the joy of companionship. A journey, whether it is a hard or easy one is always more enjoyable, memorable and inspiring when travelled with someone else. I am lucky enough to have my parents and my family with me, constantly seeing smiles when I wake up from a short, sore nap, even if they may only be forced smiles. Those moods of anxiety, nervousness to get there all make the journey even better, or even simply feeling fed up of travelling for so long, it still counts.

I for one love travelling, the sores, the rush of feelings, being prone to accidents and everything else that comes along with it. I hope to travel the world one day and not stop until I’ve seen every inch of it, for every culture, setting, environment and people is interesting enough to be looked into. In my opinion, anyway.

Unfortunately, I did not feel as well as I’d hoped the morning we started this journey, not sure why. I must admit, temptations of calling it food poising kept coming, since it started after I came from a Chinese restaurant. But that showed me that when being excited about a trip and waiting for it to happen, doesn’t always mean it will be pink and rosy, but as long as people get something out of it, it doesn’t matter for experience teaches more than anything else.

Short Break

2011-08-05T12:23:00.000-07:00

I know it's been forever since I blogged something, I have just been really busy.

I just want to apologise for the upcoming 2 weeks as I will be on holiday. I am leaving tomorrow (6th of August) and coming back on 20 something.

Thank you for all the views, comments and support. I will try to blog from my holiday, on what it is like and if I learn anything else.

Thanks again.

D x

A Little Creative Writing: A Message beginning

2011-07-22T09:22:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been so long, and I'm sorry that I'm doing a creative writing post right after another one, I just ran out of other ideas.

This little story I will share with you was originally meant for 'my own comic book' which I never finished, so I thought I'll post it on here as a great memory :)

A Message

'I'm telling you, they're disgusting!'
'Oh common, you say that about every vegetable you ever tried!'
'Well, this surpasses all of them'

The two best friends walked side by side smiling and grinning to each other. The sun was shining and the clouds were floating gradually in perfect harmony. It was a gorgeous day. 'Wow, how I love this summer weather' exclaimed Mia. 'I know, right...' sighed Rachel. Slowly bending down, the two girls sat on a bench, being able to catch their breath while enjoying the burning sun.

Suddenly, Rachel spotted a dark shadow slowly getting larger from behind them. 'What's that?' she asked anxiously. A quick jump, raise of the shoulders and widened eyes characterized Rachel's scare. An almost sigh of relief surrounded her as she noticed it was simply an old rugged man. With ripped clothes as of a beggar, stained skin, dark eyes and lowered eyebrows, the mysterious man lowered his hand. An immediate, repulsive stench rushed through the girls' nasal holes, making them react by backing away. 'Please, spare some change' he said slowly imitating a smeared heart and torn soul.

'Here, I just have a few pennies, but you can have them' Rachel stated generously. Afterwards, Rachel eyed Mia suggesting she should also donate something. Standing up, head high, with one raised eyebrow, Mia said 'I don't have anything. To be honest, I don't even understand how 'a few pennies'' she quoted, 'could actually change anything. So I guess that, unless I have about a million, to help you get back on your feet, then my pennies won't make any difference' Revolted, the man showed an incredibly shocked look. 'That's right. Keep moving, old man' Mia didn't hesitate to point out the road to him. 'You will be in my shoes, and you will regret you decision' the man said obscurely. Mia laughed, 'Yeah sure I will!' she shouted sarcastically as he walked away.

Rachel tried to tell and show Mia that even a small amount can change one's life. But she couldn't comprehend the truth. They kept walking until they reached the street that Mia lived on. 'Are you sure you don't want to come to my house for an hour?' Mia pleaded. 'Uhm.... you know what, let's go!' Rachel agreed and both turned the corner to find an ordeal.

Small ash pieces and burnt wood kept flying in the air. Abruptly, a colossal explosion came from inside the house, 'OH MY GOSH, MY HOUSE... MUM!' Mia quickly shouted as she realized her only parent was in the burning house. Passing through flames and blazing ash, Mia rushed in the house with only her tears leaving a trail. Rachel simply stood in shock watching and hoping Mia will come back out of those rugged doors, safe and sound.

-------

That's all for now! I will show you the rest in my next post, tell me if you liked it, and if you would actually like to read on. Thank you so much :)

A little Creative Writing: horror story

2011-07-07T03:52:00.000-07:00

I have decided to post a little creative writing once in a while on different topics. I love creative writing so I want to share that passion. Tell me what you think.

This time it's a horror story:

Constantly filled with fear and anxiety, the girl walked towards the classroom. The darkness and dirt only suggested that it was inevitable for spirits to be found there. She thought she saw a shadow creeping past but soon realized it was her teacher. With rusted nails like of a witch and evil eyes as if of the devil, she slowly raised her wrinkled arm and pointed towards the classroom. Feeling a negative vibe from her, the girl moved lowering her head immediately. Each stain on the wooden floor only insinuated pain, blood, death.

Suddenly a scream screeched in the background as if an innocent child was about to enter the gates of hell. Heart pounding, mind throbbing, the girl sat on the floor next to the reek of urine and decay.

Immediately, a cascade of revolting elements flowed from her inner self showing her disgust and true feelings. Swiftly, a vast blow was found on her cheek, with remaining scratches affected by the teacher’s claw. The manifest tears that covered the girl’s face turned to blood sucking every bit of energy and strength in her body. The sudden fall to the ground implied to the other terrified students: you should never show your true feelings.

Having a Mother

2011-07-03T15:39:00.000-07:00

Recently, I spotted a poster in a shop, which stated something like, 'Become a Parent. Adopt a child today'. That made me realize one important thing. One thing that we completely forget most of the time. The priviledge of having parents in your life.

This topic has a certain influence on me because of previous personal experiences. I was also in a position that involved needing that certain higher authority around me, as not having it, meant less peace, less unity in the family and less love. My mother. Although I was lucky enough to have my father with me, there was still a time that I needed my mother, just like any child.

I remember simply forgetting what it was like to shout 'mum' around the house, and to have an answer coming back. I wondered how all those children that I watched felt coming home and hugging their mothers with passion and love. How does it feel to have your mother come to school with you? What is it like to come home and find a smile welcome you every day? These were all the types of questions I wondered as I grew older. Because to be honest, I forgot.

Forgot how it felt and what it was like. Something as simple as the term 'mum' means so much to a child, they don't even realize it.

However, I was fortunate enough to have my mother return from her long stay in another country. Not everyone is that lucky though. When one misses a mother, whethere it is indefinite or not, a hole starts widening, depending on how long it takes. That hole cannot be filled again very easily and it can't be done by anybody.

Therefore, what I am trying to put across to you is the importance of parents. Not just mothers but fathers also. I have met so many people that hate their parents, whether it is both or just one. It is awful. We don't realize how important they are, whether we like it or not.

If you have both parents, appreciate it and show them that also. However, if you unfortunately have lost one or both, be strong. We never go through anything we can't manage.

WIQ - Perfection

2011-06-23T04:06:00.000-07:00

I know this is a little late, so forgive me.

Here is a Weekly Inspirational Quote that really spoke to me:

'I never expect to see a perfect work from an imperfect man'

Alexander Hamilton

Sometimes we expect so much of a person. Sometimes we expect too much of ourselves. But the key word here is 'expectation'. This can sometimes drive us to do magnificent things, but it can also cause depression or stress on some people, simply because they can not do what they love at their level, because others around them expect too much.

I believe this quote shows exactly what I mean.
We are all 'imperfect' human beings in this imperfect world, so we shouldn't expect that we, or others should achieve something that is out of our league.

Lately I've realized I act the same. I expect to get high grades, achieve high, accomplish many things in life and so on, but sometimes doing that can drive one into extreme anxiety, stress and exhaustion, so be careful.

What I am basically trying to say through this quote is that, you should not be disappointed if you haven't achieved as high as you expected. Be grateful you had the strength to try your hardest and enjoy whatever you're doing along the way.

Weekly Inpirational Quote - Kindness

2011-06-10T02:29:00.000-07:00

I've decided to post an inspirational quote every week. I want to see if it may change any views or opinions about certain things. They do for me.

'Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see'
Mark Twain

It doesn't hurt anyone to be kind. I know it may sometimes sound a little overrated but it's true. Some believe kindness doesn't do anything. Maybe because you're being polite. There is a difference between being kind, from the heart and simply being polite. Therefore we should take that as a sign to be kind every day.

I heard this story of a man that decided to jump off a building seeing as he wasn't happy with life and needed a little kindess shown to him. However, after he passed away, the police found a note in his bedroom -- 'If someone smiles at me today, I won't jump'.

It's sad to think that we can't give people even something as small as a smile. A smile that could stop one from committing suicide or simply going into depression.

Therefore just like Mark Twain says, whatever state you're in, kindness is never overrated.

Bad times

2011-05-31T08:09:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been going through something also, and I can't exactly call it 'good'. However, I learnt something very important through all of it.

We treat bad experiences and 'trials' (as I like to call them) unfairly. We don't realize that they might sometimes teach us something, because we never see the bigger picture. Last year, I was in GCSE, and I was obviously preparing for my Art exam. However, it seemed that whatever studysheet I was doing, they all included an extremely detailed painting. At first, I was alright with it, and just painted the picture, but as I was drawing to an end, I started to rush because I felt it was taking too long. The other 3 or 4 paintings I did after were like agony! I kept painting slowly for a few hours, then started rushing again, and when I'd notice that I was rushing, I had to stop, otherwise it would have turned out really bad.

However, as soon as I finished, I noticed how much all those details did for the painting as a whole, and how without them, it wouldn't look the same. That taught me Patience. It made me realize that some things take time, but we have to wait for the outcome. It is always worth it.

However, sometimes, bad things and experiences seem to happen around us, like rain, that wets everyone, but, you can have an umbrella and you can stay dry. However, sometimes those that are being rained on steal your umbrella, leaving you in the cold, windy rain. A very precious friend taught me this phrase, and it is so true.

So, when trials hit your life:
1. Don't be like the unjust and steal someone else's umbrella by blaming them or making them deal with your problem
2. Remember, there is a bigger picture which we most often don't see. So be patient and accept everything as it comes.

Although sometimes it's so painful that we can't help but blame others.
Just try to keep going and try and solve your own problems. Once you've succeeded, you will be stronger and will sharpen a special characteristic about you. Good Luck!

You can check out my friend, Savannah Belle and her film making production right here: http://belleinternational.wordpress.com/

My Own Short Story

2011-05-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by a movie. Tell me what you think, and if you would want to read on.

The sun started descending and the sky was beginning to darken so Lilly decided it was time to return. 'I'll see you tomorrow' she bid goodbye to her friends, flashed them one last smile and headed home.

As soon as she turned the corner, she noticed a dark blue Jeep parked in the driveway. With raised eyebrows, she stared at it as she was getting closer to the house. The wheels were heaped with mud, the blurry windows proved it was hard to see from the inside. This also worried Lilly as she tried to figure out who would drive in such a gruesome car.

She turned and walked towards the door. Just as she was about to grab the handle, the door flew open, making her jump with a slight scream. Before she knew it, she was in a tense situation as she was just a few millimetres from a stranger's face. His hair was slightly curled; dark, long lashes, making him mysterious and a posture that hinted a real man. It was like they were both hypnotised and forced to stare at each other, analysing the other's eyes, mouth and every other unique feature that represented them.

'You're home!' a deep voice shouted from behind the stranger. Lilly shook her head as if trying to get out of a trance.

'Uhm.. yes. Yes' she obscurely repeated.

The stranger didn't take his eyes off Lilly's until Lilly's father placed his hand on his shoulder. He looked behind him, 'Thank you for everything'.

'You're welcome, and here, I'd like you to meet my daughter' he took Lilly's hand and handed it to the stranger. 'This is Lilly'.

'Very nice to meet you' Lilly's cheek redened so she lowered her head in embarassement.

'Likewise.' The stranger lifted her hand and kissed it in respect. 'I am Charlie, your father's new assistant at the office.'

'He volunteered to help me with all the paperwork, I mean, you of all people know how busy I get' Lilly's Dad started explaining. 'You were the only help around there, but now that you've started school again, I noticed how hard I cope without you' Her father almost teared up.

'Daddy, I love you. And I promise, as soon as I graduate this year, I will help you as much as I can'

'Don't be silly, sweetheart. You have your own future to worry about. That is why I have hired Charlie.'

'Of course' Lilly smiled gracefully, excused herself and went inside.

Lilly's father said goodbye and watched Charlie drive away. 'He's a really nice guy, isn't he?' her father asked Lilly's mother as he shut the door. 'Indeed.' she agreed.

'Mother, Father, I have something to tell you...' Lilly sprung up hesitantly. Both parents turned their heads immeadiatly and started listening.

'I want to move.' Brows started lowering and mouths dropping.
'I need to find ... something... and I can't do it here'.

After Lilly's vague explanation, both parents started talking simultanously and asking questions, 'What do you mean?' 'Where would you go?' and so on.

'PLEASE!' She shouted to stop them talking. 'Please, understand I have to do this.'

'No. I'm sorry. We've always educated you to speak your mind and do what you believe you want, but this isn't acceptable. I don't understand what got into you all of a sudden, but it stops right HERE. Go to bed and never mention this again.' Her father's mood angrily moulded his speech.

'But dad--' Lilly tried to perserviere.

'Go to BED.' her father insisted. Lilly knew it wasn't a good idea to speak out again, so she just lowered her head and went upstairs.

----

After midnight passed, and Lilly was certain her parents were asleep, she simply grabbed her packed bag, left a sealed envelope on her bed and jumped out the window.

'I'm sorry' She whispered as she turned around to see the home that she grew up in, but still deciding to run towards the one she was born in.

Influence

2011-05-26T14:04:00.000-07:00

We are humans, and persistence doesn't seem to come naturally. It is something we can grow in to. But that's the problem with that sentence, 'we can'. It is not something most people achieve easily, and it is definitely not what everyone wants. Some only disciminate this term based on the fact that it is not 'cool' enough or just because they can't be bothered. And that is sad. For all those who persist, achieve great things.

But I don't want to continue sounding like an 80-year old woman with tons of knowledge and criticism. Because I'm not.

I've noticed how we tend to get influenced by others. Most of us are influenced by friends or people our age. We notice they're better than us at something, they recieve more praise, more support and more admiration, and we find that being in the game, and having no earn from it, is pointless. So we give up.
Of course, doing this made me realize all that I was missing. And there was a lot.

We shouldn't let others rule our lives, we should try our hardest to achieve what we want because we love it, or simply because it is a dream.

On the other hand, there is also another range of influence-- being influenced by the adults around us. Like teachers, for example. There are times that they drain all the passion and enthusiasm we have for one subject due to the coursework and exam pressure. And we forget why we're working so hard in the first place. We basically lose sight of our goal, and keep running without a purpose.

Don't be like those that allowed someone near them end their dreams. Don't be foolish. In the past, there have been many who have been under these influences, let us not continue it any longer.
Stop here. Ignore those that drag you down. Do what you want and love because you Can!

Unfairness

2011-05-13T14:27:00.000-07:00

We live in an imperfect world, a world where nothing is perfect, where perfection is unreacheable and failure comes like the wind. However, there is such a thing as trying. Trying to be different, being able to be different even when everything around you falls and people doubt and discourage you. There are some people that keep going, and keep running the race even when every single person in the audience boo's them. Now, that is courage.

However, we aren't all brave, and sometimes we simply break down and the only way to keep going is to stop for a second and cry, being able to let it all out. This life and especially this world sometimes throws so many different things at us that we keep dodging but will eventually be hit.

Being unfair is a human being's natural aspect. It is a sad aspect, but a real one. It's not as obvious to some people as it is to others but it's still there. It's been happening to me a lot lately. I noticed how some people tend to treat me differently than they treat others, whether it's better or worse. But the way we're treated is somehow different, and sometimes we want to change that but we can't.

That is why I want to assure, that we treat others equally because being unfair to one person makes them feel distressed, miserable, so let's all change and treat those around us equally ....

for a change to be made in the world only starts with a change in ourselves.

Our Rose Personality

2011-05-08T15:36:00.000-07:00

There's moment in life when you realize how many thorns there really are in your stem.

There's a saying that everyone can be compared to a rose. And many may think, why a rose? What's so special about it , that it can symbolize anyone? Well, all flowers are beautiful, but in my opinion, roses are the most gorgeous of all. Of course, we all think differently, however, what's so special about Roses is their structure.

They are not simple flowers: leaf, petals, done. They have thorns. Yup, I'm sure you all expected that. But it's true, they are the only flower that has such a strong opposite-- so beautiful at the top and so thorny down the middle. Those throns represent our bad natures. None of us are perfect. And those thorns show that though we may all be beautiful in one way or another, there are still little imperfections that drag us down.

Those little thorns can be pulled out and they can leave a smooth surface afterwards, but we have to go through a lot of pain, suffering and change to make that happen. For once we have pulled out our thorns, we are perfectly perfect human beings.

I do tend to refer to the character more than the appearence, however a Rose can symbolize so much about a person. If you think about a rose, those thorns are always part of it, I doubt you will see a rose without any in it. That means that though we have imperfections, we have to accept them, because only that way can we take them off.

However, we don't always have to pull them out. Sometimes a rose looks too plain, too simple without its thorns, so maybe your imperfections simply need to be a little brushed, so they're not as sharp. That way it won't hurt others. Search them, find them, change them and enjoy them.

You are a gorgeous rose. What colour... is up to your personality.. but what I do know is, there is always something Beautiful in each and everyone of us.

The Insignificant Things

2011-04-29T16:53:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to do a small post on something. Something that may seem unimportant to many, but more important than they think.

I noticed lately, that when trying to achieve something, it is those small little things that people do before it, the things that they feel is doing nothing, those things are what drives a person to success.

There's no huge secret about achieving something, so stop searching, I just wanted to emphasise to you all how important it is when you, for example, practice, to improve at an instrument, or draw, to improve art and so on. Good luck on whatever goal you have set yourself, believe you can do it.

More importantly, believe that those small things will lead you to success.

Celebrity Reality

2011-04-28T04:07:00.001-07:00

I noticed something quite interesting in the past few weeks.

Celebrities are people.

Although many obviously know this, they tend to forget it, and that causes them to be treated differently, sometimes worse, sometimes better, but we keep forgetting they're just normal people. Just like anyone of us. The fact that they have a certain talent which makes them famous doesn't change the fact that they're still human, not even a little.

I want to take a certain exmaple into consideration.. Demi Lovato.
I'm sure we have all heard of the recent news about her. Especially Demi Fans. All she went through and how she is doing now. Well, that is a perfect example to how strong (and weak) people can be. And I mean, people, not celebrities. Celebrities is a mere term for a normal person that is famous. But most of us forget that. She has had many haters criticize her actions, without thinking outside the box. That's sad.

The same with Miley Cyrus, and many other celebs out there that made some mistakes and were judged completely wrongly because of it.

I don't want to sound like a crazy fan that wants to stop the haters... Because I'm not. There will always be haters out there, whether it's bullies, cyber-bullies, or anything else, they are always out there. But we are the only ones that can change that.

I admire Demi Lovato a lot for her courage to be so open with everyone and for being so strong through everything.

She surely inspired me to always 'Stay Strong'.

Hidden Talents

2011-04-04T07:33:00.000-07:00

There are times in life when we find ourselves overly depressed, sad and upset and therefore it only makes it harder when we try and find a talent, something that may somehow impress someone, whether it's a family member or just a friend... and it gets even worse when we don't find anything immeadiatly.

I know. But what we need at that certain moment is patience. Believe that you will find it, even if it isn't straight away. I always tell myself this, and you should remember it too:

Everyone has a talent ability deep inside.

Whatever it is, wherever it is, it's definitely there. You just have to keep searching. Remember this phrase, and it's true, sometimes it's hard to find it in some people, but as long as we keep searching, we have to find something, right?

The key thing about this phrase is that everyone has it. Everyone. It's true that people sometimes find it as soon as they are born or maybe later but it's really obvious, and maybe yours is really hidden. But isn't that the beauty of it, the beauty that even if you already have a talent, or not, you can keep searching and keep finding?

This may sound crazy, but we don't always know ourselves as well as we think we do, sometimes we find out things from other people that completely shock us. This is normal, so don't be afraid to get to know yourself a bit more every day. One that is sure who s/he is, is more confident with others.

Talent may describe us, or it may not. But just keep searching.

You'll find it, believe me.

Hard Work

2011-03-27T14:59:00.000-07:00

First of all, apologies for taking so long to update my blog. I am back, though, no worries.

I just wanted to talk to you about hard work. Seeing as I am going through quite a hard phase myself, I thought it would be appropriate.

Well, first of all, we always tend to hear that 'hard work pays off', 'hard work always pays off'. But sometimes we sit and wonder, does it really pay off? You know, looking back, I think that naming a certain thing and saying I worked hard on it, and not having it pay off would probably be a lie. I think what this gives you the most, though, is satisfaction.

You get satisfied because you know all those long hours, exhaustion, and hard work were worth something. And then you end up thanking yourself and being grateful you didn't give up.

It's true, when we're in the midst of the hard work, we tend to start getting lazy at certain points, and then we lose sight of our goal. Sometimes this causes the outcome of our work not to really pay off as we wanted it to. It's all about perservierence, really.

Seeing that outcome at the end (no matter how long it may take) is worth it, and it just makes you forget the pain you had to go through to get to that stage-- it'll be worth it, trust me.

Listening

2011-03-07T15:01:00.000-08:00

Have you ever listened to anyone? And I mean really listen? I believe those people that are good listeners are also good advisers. When you truly listen to a person, you go deep in their experience and feel their pain. It's a beautiful experience and it also teaches a lot.

I always tried to be a good listener as I noticed people around me weren't. But we all need someone in our lives that listens carefully to our demands, complaints and praises. It helps relief come and releases anxiety and stress. It also helps the person become more open, and get to know themselves and others better. By listening, you are able to recognise and see other experiences and trials in life from other people's prespectives, and that is good. Because that will help you get through your own trials.

Those who don't listen have a disadvantage. This is because you are not able to truly see what the other person is thinking, and sometimes this could lead to many bad choices in life. Sometimes, we need someone to listen to us. Councelling was created for this too. We need someone because by telling somone else your experiences, it helps you see them differently. Sometimes, people need listeners so much, and they have the unfortunate disadvantage of not having anyone, that sometimes it can lead to fatal choices in life, even suicide or attempts to it.

I am not suggesting every person will try this. But I am saying talking about it helps every day, and by listening, you are helping someone else. If you act differently, it will influence the way others act also.

Our own Limitations

2011-03-03T15:20:00.000-08:00

You CAN achieve your goals, so STOP saying that you can’t. You are better than you know! Good results come with a price—stress, pressure, routine. However, fulfilling your ambitions and getting past the hard elements can also help our personal lives. Stress teaches us serenity, routine teaches patience and pressure teaches time management. So try your best, sometimes achieving one goal fulfils another.

Excuses. That is what often comes when hearing the phrase, ‘try your best’. We find that we’re too busy or tired to try. Stay away from expressions like, ‘Not possible’ or ‘I can’t be bothered’. Do this and see where that leads. Through every challenge and every stone life throws at you, fight back.

Not trying means you’ve already given up the fight. What if you were the winner? What if you were the one to experience something life-changing? Wouldn’t regret hit you straight after? We tend to have doubts like, ‘This is impossible’ while trying to face a challenge. Remember, Impossible is not a word, it’s simply a reason for you not to try. Just persevere, until you SUCCEED.

Confusion

2011-02-26T09:15:00.000-08:00

We tend to find ourselves in very awkward situations during our lifetime. It may happen twice, it may happen once but it does eventually happen. I find myself in one of these postitions right now. I feel all tangled up in my own world, not knowing where to go and what to do next. It is difficult. Sometimes we get stuck in it for longer than usual, and though we may think this is not normal, we survive.

My tip in these situations would be: don't let it run your life and don't make it worse than it already is. We tend to do that at times, exaggerate and emphasise our troubles to others which eventually makes us believe they're worse than they truly are.

To be honest, sometimes we can't even find a cure and we find that it is slowly leading our lives to failure. Think about it, making a decision or going the wrong way for once will eventually fade and you'll be able to make it, but if you get yourself stuck in that position for a long time, you won't make it back out. Choosing the right path can be hard, but if we try hard enough, it will become the good path.

Relaxation

2011-02-14T13:51:00.000-08:00

I know I always want to give advice on how to cope with all the bad things in life, but sometimes it's good to remember the positive as well.

Relaxing is a huge part of life and it means so much because it drives our whole system. We need to be relaxed from time to time otherwise we'd go insane. We are not machines you can easily function, but we're humans, we need our rest, we need our relaxation and we need to forget about everything and stop and pause life for a second. If you live your life, only looking at things you have to do you'll end up watching your life rush right before your eyes, and forget how to enjoy it. I'm not saying constanly enjoy it, because that would also ruin life, making you lazy, arrogant and so on. Just keep them both in balance. Life is something meaningful, something amazing we have. And most importantly, something we only get once. So make it count.

What I tend to do when I need to breathe a little, but I can't seem to find any time to go out, or just get away, is I go outside. If it is still daylight, I watch the graceful clouds float in harmony with the glamorous sun and the mystery it brings when it hinds itself. Or, if it's quite late, I simply enjoy staring at the twinkling stars that cover the peaceful and breath-taking open sky; the moon's reflection beeming through my intense eyes just wakes me up. There's something about these tiny details in life that immeadiatly makes me raise the corners of my mouth into a loving, enjoying smile.

Maybe these things don't really interest you and all you think when you see them is what you're going to eat when you get home. But maybe there's something else. We are all different, but if your interests are not the same as another person's, it doesn't mean you don't have any. If you've found them, enjoy them, the minute you can. If you haven't, however, keep searching. Maybe that's your relaxation mode, sitting and searching for it.

Take a break once in a while. I'm sure you deserve it.

Patience

2011-02-13T09:11:00.001-08:00

Patience. What a peaceful word. It has a simple meaning but a difficult reaction. We all want to be patient, and we admire many who are born that way. Sometimes it's easy to do it, we understand and we accept what we have to do. However, sometimes its difficult, so difficult that it seems like all it does is blow up your life in smoke. You try. You wait, for something, some sort of sign that something is happening. It is hard in those moments, I know. But the problem is that we are too impatient to realize it. To realize that, that patience will get us far, that is what will make the outcome worthwhile.

Sometimes we don't want to wait. We don't want to cope with the stress, the anxiety and the depression. We want the outcome of our problems to be solved almost immediately. And that's the mistake we make. Because this leads to making even more mistakes, while trying to solve the old ones. Have you ever tried waiting? Allowing the problem to solve on its own?

Some people say true patience can be described as divine. And this is true, when you think about it. I mean, for example, if we see someone dear to us lose everything right before our eyes, the last thing we want to do is sit there and watch it happen. However, although that may hurt more right now, you'll be grateful it hurt then and there instead of it hurting now a thousand times more. Try it once. See what direction things can go in if you did it. You'll be surprised, I definitely was.

Change

2011-02-04T17:07:00.000-08:00

Do you know the feeling one gets when looking at an old picture of themselves? Goosebumps all over, a slight curve of the mouth, thoughts flooding in and out of mind and that intensity that makes you keep staring at it for hours...

It's amazing. Amazing at what memories can bring. Especially if you've had the type of lifestyle that changes drastically throughout (like me). Quick doubts and questions pop in your mind, 'Was this really me? Why did I look so different? What's changed now?' It makes you look back. And that's good. But the key word here is not 'back', meaning the past, but it is 'look'. Search, look around, research, remember... all these help in your personality, just like it helped me. I may not be the same person I was 10 years ago, and I may not think the same, but I'm trying. I'm trying to find that inner me. That person that loved life and didn't have a care in the world. Of course, still keeping all the rituals and things I've learnt over the years, but being myself while I do it. I don't want to sound like I'm 30, but I have experienced a lot thus far.

Therefore, go back. Go back to your past and to the person you were back then, you may think, 'oh, I was such a boffin, dork...' and so many other things. But accept that, that is who you are. There's no harm in it. It is actually better that way. Doing this helps you become yourself once again, someone completely different to everyone else around you.

Lately, I've noticed how quick we all are to copying others, but what makes you special is not being 'cool' or 'popular' but being different. Someone unique, maybe even strange, but different. Keep that in mind and don't let it go. Keep your memories fresh also. Become who you used to be, and change for the better.

Friends

2011-01-29T11:52:00.000-08:00

Friends are hard to find. True friends, anyway. If you want someone, just walk around, bump into someone and there you have it. But if you're looking for someone special, someone who will want to take time to get to know you and someone who will stand by you no matter what, now that is harder to find.

I've noticied lately that I may not have tons of friends surrounding me everyday, and I may not be the most popular girl in school, but at least I have true friends. People have so many friends, their're even hard to count. But I've also seen that most of them only appear as friends. Talking behind their backs and making up rumours about their 'own friends' is disgraceful. I can never imagine what could be in that person's head that would make them betray their own friends.

Appreciate what friends you have. Even if you have one, you are lucky. And if you have many, great job, but make sure they're all true friends, and make sure you are one to them as well.

It hurt so bad when one of my friends deserted me. It is true, I did make some mistakes, but I tried my hardest to redeem myself, whereas she changed her character, her look, her lifestyle. Everything was different when I saw her again. The friend I thought of as a twin, someone even closer than a sister. Vanished. I was gutted. I don't want to do the same to any one of my friends. It's not worth it. They don't deserve it. So, appreciate who you have, and don't ruin the friendship, believe me, I know how that feels.

Future Plans

2011-01-25T11:28:00.000-08:00

Lately I've noticed how caught up I've been about my career in the future. Perhaps you are in my position as well, unable to recognise what could be right for you, and unable to plan your future in a way that you will be certain will happen.

I have some tips I have learnt so far:

1. Don't plan.
Believe me, I've tried, and all you recieve is disappointment. When you plan your life, it means that you want it to run in your way and because of that you will start only aiming to do those certain things that will achieve your plan. Life always has its unexpected turns, and if our whole life revolves around our plan, if we end up failing to achieve it, we will be stuck as to where to go next. Be more spontaneous. Take some risks and see where that gets you.

2. Don't think about it too much.
Of course, it depends what age you are, but if you're 16, like me, you still have time. Don't worry, you will eventually find what is right for you. However, if you're closer to 20, or over, then my advice to you would be... act. Instead of thinking about what you should go into, apply for different jobs, experience a variety.. and see what you enjoy the most. Do something about it.

3. Remember, enjoyment before payment.
We all want a future job that will provide us with a reasonable amount of money for a good living. However, would you want to be in a terrible place, suffering all day, simply because the wages are better than the job you wanted to do? If your answer is yes, then continue doing it. But remember, you will eventually crack. Besides, I believe that a job means waking up every morning with a smile on your face. What do you want, money and a frown, or reasonable allowance and a constant smile? Remember, money doesn't bring eternal happiness.

I'm sure I can think of more tips, but these are the important ones I wanted to emphasise.
Therefore, just like me, try not to worry too much. Let Life bring what it may, just recieve and enjoy it.

Be Yourself

2011-01-16T12:40:00.001-08:00

We are all individually special, everyone one of us has a slight gene that is different to everyone else. Isn't it beautiful when you think about it this way? So why are we trying to hide the fact that we're different by being lke someone else?

Celebrities seem to have such an influence on us these days. We want to be like her or act like him, dress that way, walk this way. It seems almost crazy to think that we are trying to become them. It may not be completely direct, going to a mirror and saying to ourselves, 'Ok, to be like this I have to..' We may not say that. But without planning to, we start acting like them.

Don't ruin your own unique personality by stealing someone else's. The only reason you want to be like a certain person is because they're different. So try and be different yourself instead of being the same as everyone else and stealing a personality. Today I learnt how special we all are in our own ways. We need to acknowledge this more and believe the fact that we are different, and we don't need a celebrity to make us feel good about ourselves. Let them be who they want, and you be who you are.

Life Experiences

2011-01-09T07:17:00.000-08:00

Only yesterday did I realize what an experience can teach you about experiences. Read it again. Certain experiences teach you about life experiences. I had this realization while doing a very interactive sport: ice-skating. I love it, I would go every day if I had the chance (and time). However, more than the tons of fun I had, there was something else that stayed with me.

While flying through with a huge grin on my face, I noticed the same routine I was doing unconciously while rushing through the crowds. I skate, dodge, slow down, speed up, turn and stop. And then again and again. Although they may not always be in the same order, they still happen. This helped me realize: it's just like life.

Skating: when everything is going right, life goes smoothly, like the blades touch the ice. No worries, same routine of life but no problems.

Dodging: people always get in the way when you're trying to skate a certain way. Life brings that as well, there will most certainly be people around you either bringing you down or urging you on. However, it all depends on how you take it. If you get extremely discouraged, you'll eventually hit them, and fall. Ignore they're there, and keep going.

Slowing down/ speeding up: Life has many different ups and downs. How often they happen, is up to us. Are we skilled in that area? can we pass it and move on without falling? However, sometimes you have to slow down, although you may sometimes think you only need to go fast. It all depends on the circumstances, but whatever you have to do, do it. Don't speed up when you actually have to slow down, you might crash into someone.

Falling: none of us are perfect. We fall. Just like on the ice, sometimes it hurts so intensely that you can't even move, but you have to get back up. Although people around may laugh and point, remaining down only makes it worse. The sooner you get your strength back, use it to get up. If you need to take break, go ahead, but don't give up. You're only one fall away from your goal.

Accept experiences as they come and remember, they will only make you better.

Competition

2011-01-05T15:44:00.001-08:00

Life is hard and it very often brings all those joyful and happy moments down to rugged, sad ones. Well, although life can be difficult and it can throw many stones at you, keep strong. I recently learnt that life's joy lasts longer than its sorrow. Therefore, the sadness, stress and depression will eventually have to end; just like everything else in this world, it all eventually has to end. Amongst those hard times, we are very much influenced by those around us. If you are in my position, working hard towards a certain something, but no matter how incredibly hard you try, and how much sweat you keep wiping off your brow, there is still someone better than you.

Someone who does all those nerve-racking thing easily, all those things you struggled so hard to do, in one shot. It is frustrating. I know, you just feel like ripping all your hair out and shouting so loud that the whole world could hear. But you can't. What would that do? Listen, I have realised something about these situations. We start thinking everything is a competition with that person.

The way they stand, sit, talk, walk, everything! It's like going insane. But before I could go any deeper into that trance, thankfully, I sat down and realised what was happening. I was constantly trying to win, whatever it was, I felt like that person was trying to get in my face and make me lose. But... Lose what? And I would win WHAT? Exactly! Nothing. This wasn't a competition for a prize, nothing like that. It is a competition of pride. And I believe we should use that pride to be proud of ourselves: and believe it. Proud that we've achieved so much so far. Stop comparing yourself with others, you will never be like them, and they could never be like you. Just like that Katy Perry song 'Firework' says, 'you're original, cannot be replaced'. That's right! Be proud of who you are, enjoy it and stop turning into someone else. Before it's too late.

Achievements

2011-01-04T11:53:00.000-08:00

Everyone wants to achieve something in life. Whether it is great or small: there has to be something. We want to feel good about ourselves, proud the hard work has paid off and grateful we are who we are. It is natural. It happens to me all the time, I want to achieve a certain thing therefore I try my hardest for the first 4 or 5 days. Then before I know it, I give up.

However, what I have noticed about myself is that I tend to give up subconciously. Therefore I don't let those around me be aware of this-- because I have realized that only after a day of giving up I want to try again. I regret giving up, and I think to myself that I could have done better. That's when I start again. And that is how I tend to achieve something. Whether it is painting a canvas, writing an essay or playing the guitar, it is all the same routine.

Have you ever found yourself in my position? Annoyed, stressed and tired of trying? Don't make giving up official just yet, for, the next day you will want to try again. But giving up may make it impossible.

New days bring perservierence like the sun lights the streets, or the birds stir up dreams. With a new day comes new perservierence, and with new perservierence comes new achievements. The feeling you recieve once you have that grinning smile on your face, that spark in your eyes and enthusiasm in your body is indispensable. Years will pass by and that is what you will be left with.

People tend to believe achievements only happen once in a while, to certain people. Wrong. You can do it and you can be one of them. If you want to be part of a group, join it. Don't watch from a distance, dreaming you could be one of them. All those people you see achieving high are only doing the same thing: working hard, and most importantly, never giving up. It may be in small matters and you may feel some may be insignificant, but those small, tiny details lead to a magnificent colossal painting.

happy new year!

2010-12-31T09:44:00.001-08:00

Wow. I cannot believe that another new year is about to approach us. Time sure loves flying by. Well I just want to wish everyone a wonderful and blessed new year! I hope your new year resolutions will be achieved and we will all become better at everything we do.

A new year means new opportunities and new chances to improve life, improve oneself and a chance to change all those things that we know ended badly the previous year.
Good luck to everyone and I hope 2011 will be a year we will not forget

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T09:26:00.001-08:00

Christmas is a time for sharing. A time for giving and receiving. A time to spend with our family and friends and a time to be joyful and happy.

Many often forget the true meaning of Christmas and they only celebrate it as a tradition. Christmas is much more than that. It is the day that the Lord Jesus Christ decided to give himself by coming down and being born in a mere manger. It is beautiful. That a man would have such a love and decide to come down for you and for me.
I am truly grateful and I'm sure you are too. Just keep that feeling in your heart and enjoy.

Merry Christmas! :)

Disappointments

2010-12-21T07:27:00.001-08:00

Life is full of them. Experiences that bring your whole body drastically down. Physically, mentally and spiritually. It just steeps so low down that all you see around is sorrow, misery and distress. No matter how much everyone around you tries to cheer you up: hugs, kisses, gifts-- nothing works. Your face feels all stiff and puffy, your eyes burning hot and your lips are just stuck into a frown. I'm experiencing that this very day. You know, you'd expect me to say, don't worry, it will all turn out ok. But that's exactly when everything goes worse. Then, there really is no hope. My day is like that, I wish I could encourage you and turn that mood into a better moment, but I can't, no matter how much I'm trying to kid myself that maybe, just maybe everything will be alright, it only throws it back in ny face.

If you're in my same position, I'm sorry and I know how you feel. All makes you just want to burst into tears, all people around smiling and laughing seem like they are mocking you. It's okay. The moment will pass and so will the experience even if it may not end well...

Precious Moments

2010-12-17T10:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went on a trip with my friend to London. It was a blast. Seeing as none of us drive, we went by train/tube. I will never forget that exact moment when I was gradually walking down the escalator.

We got the wrong tube in the tube station, so had to turn back and then we realized our tube was on the floor below. We went on the escalator, but I decided to walk ahead because I realized we were slowly running out of time, as it was getting late. Suddenly, half way through, a music started playing from nowhere. I looked around, and the minute I spotted that passionate, shining saxophone player, I froze. I stopped walking and was just staring over in his direction. My heart was beating so fast all of a sudden and my eyes felt so hot as if someone clutched them and threw them in a fierce burning fire. They were swallowing up and I realized tears were tempting me to cry.

The song touched my heart and my whole body felt so weak and helpless like I was standing in the middle of the universe, and I was the tiniest thing, hopeless and barren.

His eyes were closed and it was obvious he was enjoying every bit of that song, just like I was. I couldn't walk. The beautiful fragrance of song just grabbed my strength and mind as if trying to say....'Relax'... In a very quiet and whispering atmosphere.

Eventually I had to go, seeing as the song ended as well. But I regret not knowing that song because as soon as I came back home, all I wanted to do is hear that song again. And again, and again. In that moment I realized how deep the sax goes into me. How beautifully it can touch me and how easily it can change my mood. I guess that's another thing I found out about my personality.

You're probably bored now, but I needed to share that with you. It was magical. How about you? Do you have a precious moment where all around seems dull, pointless and all you want to do is enjoy that moment longer? What is it? I would love to hear it. I know the feeling now so maybe we can share the experience.

Your Passion

2010-12-15T13:23:00.000-08:00

According to my previous blog, you may believe I love art. This is true. But I also enjoy writing very much. That's why I'm doing these blogs!

"The rainwater sliding down the windowpanes like melting silver"-- what beautiful imagery and description. I read this a few minutes ago and it made me realize something very important-- you don't need to be amazing at what you're doing to have a Passion for it. Therefore, if you're not great, that doesn't mean you don't enjoy it. Today, only, were my eyes and mind truly opened and I was able to see why all this time I was looking at english. I'm not the best in the class, and I'm certainly not amazing with my skills (I make many mistakes in fact) but I still love writing. I love reading it and I love creating it myself. It's a passion I share. And, unfortunately, only today was I able to see my true feelings about it.

So what is your passion? Share it wih me, I would love to hear it! Maybe you're in my position, not certain why you end up taking certain paths in your life, or maybe not being able to identify your passion, search harder... and remember... you may not be Amazing, but you are Passionate!

Hobbies

2010-12-14T10:37:00.001-08:00

We all have a hobby once in a while, sometimes it changes, sometimes it stays the same. It depends. One important thing to remember is, don't let your hobby run your life.

It's happened to me before, and believe me, it's not pretty. All you start doing is just that, as if nothing else intrests you anymore and all you want to do is draw, in my case. Maybe many of you haven't arrived at that point just yet, and that is a good thing. Life is important and it's important you start living it. By this - don't mean enjoy yourself, go to parties and have fun until your burst. That has nothing to do with living. Living means appreciating and doing all that you're expected to make those around you happy.

At that certain point in my life, when I was, you could say, obsessed with art, all I saw each and every day when I was outside is just tones, shades, textures, the beauty in each thing. As if my eyes were gradually transformed and my whole life was a huge canvas drawing getting ready to be painted. There are so many hobbies out there, and we're humans, we need to preoccupy ourselves. Even for those out there who don't have one, there are two options that explain your situation, 1.you already have a hobby but you don't realize it. And 2.you will find one very soon, if you search hard enough.

Whatever our situations may be, we want to enjoy them, making sure we don't Ruin them.

Appreciation

2010-12-09T13:54:00.000-08:00

Life is full of gifts. Life is a Gift itself. Whether we're thankful of it or not, we still recieve it. I, for one, never expected so much out of life. Family, Friends, Home and so many more. If I listed them all, you would get bored and just close this window. That's not my point though. I hate the fact that each short moment, even just 10 mins we may get with one member of our family or a close friend, we don't appreciate it enough. We mostly ramble on about our day and just joke until the moments pass, but another moment of realization doesn't come too soon.

So many times we avoid being grateful, whether it's for a big thing or small. We tend to take everything for granted and simply enjoy them while we can. If we keep doing this, we will find that life will simply pass us by without us even noticing.

I sometimes only look back and realize these at the end of the day. Too late. We have to show we appreciate to others around us through actions, gifts and sacrifices. It's worth it. You'll see.

Time and Regret

2010-12-08T10:33:00.000-08:00

Time. What an important aspect of life. Without it, we wouldn't be able to live. But the real question is... Do we appreciate it? Do we use it wisely? Do we go to bed each night feeling grateful and happy we did so much in that certain day?

I doubt it. Hardly happens to me, but I do admire those who can. Wasting. That is what I tend to do. While I sit in a comfortable chair, either watching a movie or looking at something else, I end up having a reality check when I look at the clock and how quickly the time has passed. Of course, we need breaks and concise pauses from our work. However, if you know that taking one break will distract you to wasting 5 hours instead of 5 minutes, don't take it. I must admit, this applies to me more than anyone. But try remembering this, Learn to hate wasting time, for that will get you far.

Once, I had a huge essay to write. I was stressing, sweat kept falling down, and I was feeling worse than ever. Doubts, 'I can't do this' kept flying through my aching mind. I tried restarting a few times. Nothing helped. I was getting nowhere. The mistake I made was giving up. I said to myself that maybe a short break is what I need. It was 6 o'clock. As I started relaxing, unconciously, I started finding other things to do and before I knew it, it was 9:00pm.

The feeling you recieve when you really want to turn back time is horrific. Regret. That's what this is called. Disappointment in yourself can easily peak in once you give up, therefore no matter how many mistakes you've made, don't let it stop you. If you were in a race, you wouldn't give up running just because one person from the audience shouted 'Boo!', would you?

Life is a race. Unless we're on the right track, we will never be able to win. It is tempting to waste time, I am probably most experienced in that. But don't give in, that temptation only brings regret afterwards.

Doubts

2010-12-07T12:41:00.001-08:00

I sit here staring in the emptiness.. All of a sudden, I decide to turn the other way, hoping that the thoughts I had will immediately change. Unexpectedly, I find myself looking straight in the eyes of myself. It is looking at me grinning, as if waiting for me to smile back. But you can never be too sure. A picture of someone you may not know completely can bring doubts as to whether the corners of your mouth would lift or fall. Who are you? Questions quickly pop into your mind. To avoid answering that question yourself, you simply turn back round and either accept those depressing thoughts instead of attempting the question.

It's sad, isn't it? How do we expect others to like and get to know us if we, ourselves, don't know who we are? I know accepting can be difficult. Sometimes we even find ourselves in situations where we wish we were somehow different. But then there would be something else to change.

Today I found how bad I am at cooking. Silly, wouldn't you agree? But it is true, mixing ingredients together and making it look completely perfect at the end is pretty hard. For me, anyway. But working towards it is what's important. Though doubts may come that I will never be able to cook (in my case), telling me giving up is the only option. The beauty to it is looking back and observing the progress you've made. An example would be art, drawing is not something you can master immediately, but only with practice. So, don't let those nasty doubts get in the way of your goals and who you want to be. Because that's what's important- who you want to be rather than who you are.

A Whole New World...

2010-12-07T10:06:00.000-08:00

After weeks of preparing and hours of persuasion, I have made my decision.

I have made my own BLOG!

--

Each new day simply opens my eyes to seeing myself in a different way. Did this every happen to you? Where you looked in the mirror and all you could see is an ordinary person, but the minute something sparked your interest, even a smile could cure that ordinary? I notice how each day brings me closer to at least one person. Realization. That's what strikes the minute after. Realization that maybe there's something inside you that made that person draw closer, feeling open, relaxed and comfortable sharing anything with you. Although you may have had a bad day, this makes it so much better.

Today I noticed something about ME. Not that I like Art, or hate science. But something much deeper. I realized how easily we give up. Especially me. How easily discouragement comes in and distracts you from your goals. The worst part is, we give up before even trying. Like giving up a job because we hate the wages, without realizing that, even that small amount could build up to what we need.

Therefore, I want to make myself stronger, as none of us are perfect. I also want to encourage others who may be in the same position. We will change. It is just Faith and Perseverance that will get us through it.

So, next time (just like me).... TRY before you give up.